1 00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:12,279 Morning, followers. Gossip Girl here. 2 00:00:12,284 --> 00:00:15,363 Márquez once said, "We all have three lives. 3 00:00:15,368 --> 00:00:17,664 - A public life, a private life..." - You have any fun, at least? 4 00:00:17,668 --> 00:00:19,322 - Of course. Always. - "... and a secret life". 5 00:00:19,326 --> 00:00:21,404 I'm off to Berlin. I'll be back tomorrow. 6 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:24,321 - But he left out the most important one. - Love you, Dad. 7 00:00:24,326 --> 00:00:26,326 Our dating life. 8 00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:28,654 ♪ It's a blurry shape... ♪ 9 00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:31,521 And ever since JC got ditched by Noble O 10 00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:35,129 for a little Z, she's been on an international manhunt 11 00:00:35,134 --> 00:00:36,904 for a worthy replacement. 12 00:00:36,909 --> 00:00:38,279 She's gone truffle hunting 13 00:00:38,284 --> 00:00:40,121 with the Italian prime minister's son... 14 00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:45,446 The truffle is a passion, and you need passion to hunt them. 15 00:00:45,451 --> 00:00:47,238 But this dress is a sample. 16 00:00:47,243 --> 00:00:50,488 ... yachting with the last Shah of Iran's grandson... 17 00:00:50,493 --> 00:00:54,001 Might I invite you to steam in my huge hammam? 18 00:00:56,993 --> 00:00:58,738 She even shared a green juice 19 00:00:58,743 --> 00:01:00,146 with the Bonus Jonas. 20 00:01:00,151 --> 00:01:01,979 All he could talk about was how PC told him 21 00:01:01,984 --> 00:01:04,154 he was cuter than Joe and Kevin combined. 22 00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:06,196 Spies tell us nary a one 23 00:01:06,201 --> 00:01:08,446 wanted a second bite at her apple. 24 00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:09,613 What? 25 00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:13,321 Perhaps this will provide a temporary balm? 26 00:01:13,326 --> 00:01:16,404 Little Z may occupy JC's former residence 27 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,279 on the arm of the prince of New York, 28 00:01:18,284 --> 00:01:21,529 but she's definitely not to the manor born. 29 00:01:21,534 --> 00:01:23,904 Hope the prince doesn't lose interest, 30 00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:27,113 or Little Z may find herself Lonely Z. 31 00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:29,113 Maybe they're sisters after all. 32 00:01:29,118 --> 00:01:32,946 The throne is waiting, but it won't sit empty for long. 33 00:01:35,409 --> 00:01:36,663 Quelle disaster. 34 00:01:36,668 --> 00:01:39,078 Even Timothée rescinded his invite to MIPCOM 35 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,120 after seeing these! 36 00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:41,405 You need to stop being so choosey. 37 00:01:41,409 --> 00:01:42,919 Everyone knows the only way to get over 38 00:01:42,923 --> 00:01:44,488 an heir is to get under another one. 39 00:01:44,493 --> 00:01:48,321 I tried. I guess heirs just aren't as giving as I'm used to. 40 00:01:48,326 --> 00:01:49,529 I didn't like any of them. 41 00:01:49,534 --> 00:01:51,863 You don't have to like them, you just have to date them. 42 00:01:51,868 --> 00:01:53,230 Jules, I hate to say this to you, 43 00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:54,754 because fuck the patriarchy, right? 44 00:01:54,759 --> 00:01:56,404 But, um, the men always win this. 45 00:01:56,409 --> 00:01:57,888 Brad Pitt is ancient, 46 00:01:57,893 --> 00:02:00,521 yet he wins an Oscar for showing his desiccated abs, 47 00:02:00,526 --> 00:02:03,879 while a still-prime Angelina disappears a Disney witch. 48 00:02:03,884 --> 00:02:05,788 Maybe it doesn't have to be about a man? 49 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,129 Millie Bobby Brown isn't defined by who she dates. 50 00:02:08,134 --> 00:02:10,529 Millie Bobby Brown is pre-sexual. 51 00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:12,738 You need a new Brad or it's Havisham for you. 52 00:02:12,743 --> 00:02:15,413 - Also, fuck the patriarchy. - Jules. 53 00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,746 - Do you have to pee? - No. 54 00:02:16,751 --> 00:02:19,326 Oh, me too. Thank you. Bye. 55 00:02:20,868 --> 00:02:22,329 So, if I tell you something, 56 00:02:22,334 --> 00:02:25,029 do you swear on your Loewe not to tell anyone? 57 00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:26,988 - Did you kill someone? - Worse. 58 00:02:26,993 --> 00:02:28,638 I may have slept with Max. 59 00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:30,938 - May have or did? - I did! I did! 60 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,779 I slept with Max! I slept with Max many times. 61 00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:34,738 What? Why? 62 00:02:34,743 --> 00:02:37,171 When? Basically all of the interrogatives. 63 00:02:37,176 --> 00:02:39,029 You've known him for a decade. Why now? 64 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:42,488 I don't know what happened. Kiki drama? Sexual ennui? 65 00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:45,571 My apparently latent self-destructive tendencies? 66 00:02:45,576 --> 00:02:50,693 It was one night. One long, surprisingly informative night, 67 00:02:51,118 --> 00:02:52,779 like, Jules... 68 00:02:52,784 --> 00:02:55,671 - Are you gonna tell Aki? - I mean, I feel terrible, 69 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,076 but it had nothing to do with him. I love him. 70 00:02:58,884 --> 00:03:02,404 Until I can give him a reason for these anomalous actions, 71 00:03:02,409 --> 00:03:04,488 why cause him pain with the truth? 72 00:03:04,493 --> 00:03:06,488 Consider my friend-DA signed. 73 00:03:06,493 --> 00:03:08,446 I just hope Gossip Girl doesn't find out. 74 00:03:08,451 --> 00:03:10,204 You're right. Now that she's verified, 75 00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:12,446 if she posts it, people might believe it's true. 76 00:03:12,451 --> 00:03:13,604 It is true. 77 00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:16,818 I know! I'm a bad person! I'm a bad person! 78 00:03:17,343 --> 00:03:18,588 I'm a terrible person. 79 00:03:18,593 --> 00:03:20,004 Why, because you wiped out at LES? 80 00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:22,696 No, but I deserve to. I'm a terrible person. 81 00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:25,738 You are like the last person to be classified as terrible. 82 00:03:25,743 --> 00:03:28,172 - What if I told you I cheated on Audrey? - I wouldn't believe you. 83 00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:30,114 What if I told you I may have made out with someone 84 00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:31,213 other than Audrey? 85 00:03:31,218 --> 00:03:33,493 - You may have or you did? - I did! 86 00:03:33,951 --> 00:03:35,154 I made out with someone. 87 00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:38,588 Okay, um... Was it a one-time thing, 88 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,821 - or this was a recurring... - Yes. Never again. Just once. 89 00:03:41,826 --> 00:03:42,863 Okay then, who cares? 90 00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:44,879 I mean, you still want to be with Audrey, right? 91 00:03:44,884 --> 00:03:46,346 Of course. I love her. 92 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,679 This had nothing to do with her. 93 00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:50,489 Okay, then why cause her the stress and embarrassment of your fuck-up? 94 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,208 You know what I mean? 95 00:03:52,213 --> 00:03:55,858 Look, if it was a mistake, just learn from it and move on. 96 00:03:55,863 --> 00:03:57,313 And make sure that whoever she is... 97 00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:58,904 does not kiss and tell. 98 00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:20,154 - That wasn't awkward. - Shh! 99 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:23,959 - Gossip Girl could be listening! - Yeah, she's everywhere. 100 00:04:25,409 --> 00:04:27,763 - Hey. Something's up. - I know. It's working. 101 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,771 No. Something else. Check your e-mail. 102 00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:32,088 Burton called a mandatory meeting after school. 103 00:04:32,093 --> 00:04:34,154 - I'm sure it's unrelated. - I'm not. 104 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,238 Oh, my God. There she is. 105 00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,989 She knows? 106 00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:41,229 Taylor, did you see this? 107 00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:45,654 I don't know, I gotta go for Pizza Rat. 108 00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:48,154 ♪ News, all bad news lately... ♪ 109 00:04:48,159 --> 00:04:52,113 "Who wore it better? Pizza Face or Pizza Rat?" 110 00:04:52,118 --> 00:04:53,488 Just forget about it, all right? 111 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,196 By the time you refresh, it'll be gone. 112 00:04:55,201 --> 00:04:57,321 Wow, you're right. And now it's a poll. 113 00:04:57,326 --> 00:04:59,279 ♪ They all knew... ♪ 114 00:04:59,284 --> 00:05:01,764 If it makes you feel any better, that rat is an iconic New Yorker. 115 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,170 Yeah, so is Zora Neale Hurston, 116 00:05:03,175 --> 00:05:04,364 but no one's comparing me to her. 117 00:05:04,368 --> 00:05:07,229 Okay, this is why I stay off of social media entirely. 118 00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:08,947 Well, you don't even have to. Whenever you eat, 119 00:05:08,951 --> 00:05:11,029 it looks like a dinner party in T magazine. 120 00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:15,229 Speaking of dinner, my dad would like to have you over. 121 00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:17,696 He said since I'm staying at Constance 122 00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:19,229 and I appear to be serious about you, 123 00:05:19,234 --> 00:05:20,489 he'd like to get to know you better. 124 00:05:20,493 --> 00:05:22,071 Um... I'm stuck on "appear to be". 125 00:05:22,076 --> 00:05:24,462 He's a lawyer. It's always about how it appears to be. 126 00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:26,147 But don't feel obligated to it. It's just... 127 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,196 No, are you kidding? I mean, we can't hang out in... 128 00:05:28,201 --> 00:05:30,841 morning runs and free periods and walks home forever. 129 00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,521 I want to take you out on a... 130 00:05:32,526 --> 00:05:34,404 a real date. 131 00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:36,046 And I understand your dad's apprehension. 132 00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,593 So I will bring all the charm that I own. 133 00:05:39,201 --> 00:05:42,909 ♪ Don't assume, assume ♪ 134 00:05:45,701 --> 00:05:48,696 - Tragic. Just look at her. - I can't. 135 00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:51,738 My transition Lapimas don't dim from daylight to depression. 136 00:05:51,743 --> 00:05:52,904 Yeah, we've worked too hard 137 00:05:52,909 --> 00:05:54,646 to let Julien abdicate without a fight. 138 00:05:54,651 --> 00:05:57,696 I know, but we've tried every man on the Quest 400 list. 139 00:05:57,701 --> 00:05:58,913 Who's left? 140 00:05:58,918 --> 00:06:01,043 Maybe it isn't about a man. Maybe it's her. 141 00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:02,895 Are you guys talking about me? 142 00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,697 - No. Of course not. - Totally and completely, yeah. 143 00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:07,991 I don't need you to pile on too, Max. I'm exhausted. 144 00:06:07,996 --> 00:06:10,115 You want to know why no one you've been on a date with 145 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,529 wants to get to know you better? Hmm? 146 00:06:12,534 --> 00:06:13,946 It's 'cause they can't. 147 00:06:13,951 --> 00:06:15,738 You're a billboard, not a body. 148 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,196 Curated, untouchable, willingly filtered by you, 149 00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:21,638 - your stylist and publicist. - PR representative. 150 00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:23,613 It's like I lost myself somehow. 151 00:06:23,618 --> 00:06:27,746 Which is why I propose that we find her together. 152 00:06:27,751 --> 00:06:29,779 A Manhattan Maxploration, tonight. 153 00:06:29,784 --> 00:06:31,488 Consider me your White Rabbit. 154 00:06:31,493 --> 00:06:33,888 We're gonna do things that you've never done before, 155 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,863 in places you have never gone before. 156 00:06:35,868 --> 00:06:38,613 And when we are done, you are gonna be so real, 157 00:06:38,618 --> 00:06:39,946 that even Obie will remember 158 00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:42,018 why he loved you in the first place. 159 00:06:43,284 --> 00:06:45,946 Audrey can vouch for how good I am at demolishing inhibitions. 160 00:06:45,951 --> 00:06:48,488 Fine, go out. 161 00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:50,004 But don't worry about how it looks. 162 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:53,271 Do it for yourself and do not document it. 163 00:06:53,276 --> 00:06:54,946 - Document it! - Oh, my God, document it. 164 00:06:54,951 --> 00:06:56,363 You in? 165 00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:03,113 I'm in. 166 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,804 I know you're all curious 167 00:07:04,809 --> 00:07:07,363 why I called this all-hands. 168 00:07:07,368 --> 00:07:10,621 And so I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Gossip Girl. 169 00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,163 I'm sure you're aware of it. 170 00:07:12,168 --> 00:07:15,954 An anonymous Instagram account that spies on our students 171 00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:17,754 and spreads rumors about them, 172 00:07:17,759 --> 00:07:20,988 students whose parents rather generously 173 00:07:20,993 --> 00:07:23,071 keep the lights on around here. 174 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,029 And many of those parents are now threatening 175 00:07:25,034 --> 00:07:29,120 to pull their donations if this situation isn't solved. 176 00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,405 - We're dead. Worse than dead. - My predecessor... 177 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,779 - A Netflix documentary on dead people. - Jordan. 178 00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:36,904 ... of a pernicious presence that would sabotage 179 00:07:36,909 --> 00:07:38,904 students' studies, 180 00:07:38,909 --> 00:07:41,488 their social lives, even hijack graduation. 181 00:07:41,493 --> 00:07:42,863 And now it's happening again. 182 00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:44,696 - Vivian, if I may? - Oh, of course, Linda. 183 00:07:44,701 --> 00:07:48,029 I've found Gossip Girl surprisingly helpful. 184 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:51,238 My students have seemed, I don't know, more mindful 185 00:07:51,243 --> 00:07:53,029 of what they say and... 186 00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:54,746 what they do around each other. 187 00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:57,396 I agree. I'd even go so far as to say 188 00:07:57,401 --> 00:07:59,946 the students are more respectful to us as well. 189 00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:02,954 With apologies to my wife and Mr. Caparros, 190 00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:06,529 I firmly disagree. Gossip Girl is a cancer. 191 00:08:06,534 --> 00:08:09,696 Kids are on their phones more now than ever. 192 00:08:09,701 --> 00:08:11,113 And in class. 193 00:08:11,118 --> 00:08:14,604 Well, to address Mr. Schacter's very valid concern, 194 00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:16,154 students will no longer 195 00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:18,696 have access to their phones during the school day. 196 00:08:18,701 --> 00:08:20,029 That's gonna be bad for business. 197 00:08:20,034 --> 00:08:22,904 And you may have noticed some new bodies in our halls. 198 00:08:22,909 --> 00:08:25,563 One of our parents has graciously donated 199 00:08:25,568 --> 00:08:28,071 a consultancy with an intelligence agency. 200 00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:30,671 They will conduct a swift investigation 201 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,029 to determine the source of our stress. 202 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:35,571 By this time next week, 203 00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:40,571 Gossip Girl must be exposed and expelled. 204 00:08:40,576 --> 00:08:43,654 Oh, my God, they hired Black Cube! 205 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:46,738 Let's not panic. We just have to keep them off our scent. 206 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,004 You're all following GG from your own accounts, right? 207 00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:50,488 Rude, of course we are. 208 00:08:50,493 --> 00:08:54,071 Okay. Then, like the posts and watch the videos. 209 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,446 A lot of teachers do, so if you don't, you stand out. 210 00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:59,353 And no DMs from your accounts to GG ever. 211 00:08:59,358 --> 00:09:01,272 We also shouldn't post from school, right? 212 00:09:01,276 --> 00:09:03,846 - They could trace it? - I put a firewall on the server. 213 00:09:03,851 --> 00:09:05,779 As long as you stay on our Wi-Fi, you're safe. 214 00:09:05,784 --> 00:09:07,446 How can you be so sure? 215 00:09:07,451 --> 00:09:09,454 I'm the computer science teacher. 216 00:09:09,459 --> 00:09:11,962 And don't post during school hours. 217 00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:14,072 Now that kids won't have phones, it could point towards faculty. 218 00:09:14,076 --> 00:09:16,446 But as soon as the bell rings, I'll keep the posts flowing. 219 00:09:16,451 --> 00:09:19,279 It would cast more light on us if we slowed after that meeting. 220 00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:21,196 Maybe mix things up a little? 221 00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:22,904 Shine some of that light on teachers, 222 00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:25,413 make it look more like it's a disgruntled student? 223 00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:26,979 Got any dirt from the home office? 224 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,779 Ready to get buried? We can start with the Schacters. 225 00:09:29,784 --> 00:09:32,326 Henry's been having an affair with Libby the Librarian. 226 00:09:32,784 --> 00:09:33,821 Ooh. 227 00:09:33,826 --> 00:09:35,196 Make that item blind. 228 00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:37,029 Maybe there are more affairs around here 229 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,279 and we can get some great tips? 230 00:09:39,284 --> 00:09:41,529 They had perfect porcinis at Eataly today, 231 00:09:41,534 --> 00:09:45,446 so I told Rocky risotto ai funghi is imperative. 232 00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,854 Even though, um, your dad is doing "keto" again. 233 00:09:48,859 --> 00:09:51,613 Which we both know is a lie. 234 00:09:51,618 --> 00:09:54,488 Oh. There was never an entrance he didn't make. 235 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:58,154 - Or a corset he couldn't cinch. - Oh, this old McQueen? 236 00:09:58,159 --> 00:10:00,488 Your, uh, your hair is different. 237 00:10:00,493 --> 00:10:02,818 Serge gave me a blowout. You like? 238 00:10:03,368 --> 00:10:06,821 It's, um... It's voluminous. 239 00:10:06,826 --> 00:10:09,621 Oh, Rocky, this looks glorious. 240 00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:11,863 As do you. 241 00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,821 So, where are you off to after this? 242 00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:17,571 Critics preview for Jeremy O. Harris's new play: 243 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,996 AARON at The Public. 244 00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,404 - Mm. - It's, um... 245 00:10:21,409 --> 00:10:26,393 A very loose adaptation of Titus Andronicus... 246 00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:29,329 focusing on Aaron the moor. 247 00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:32,696 Gore and genitals? Save me a full-frontal seat. 248 00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:35,613 I have. Opening's tomorrow night. 249 00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:38,558 There's a ticket block for all of your friends. 250 00:10:40,409 --> 00:10:42,321 And Pops. 251 00:10:42,326 --> 00:10:44,821 What are you going to do tonight while I'm at the preview, hon? 252 00:10:44,826 --> 00:10:46,779 Stay home. Working on the plans 253 00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:48,801 for Ina and Jeffrey's hornbeam hedge. 254 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,571 You know, maybe it's best 255 00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:56,118 not to wear that tomorrow night. 256 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,426 Mm! And this is keto. 257 00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:06,464 As that essentially forces them out of this neighborhood 258 00:11:06,468 --> 00:11:08,246 and leaves the area wide open for developers 259 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,154 who were already circling. 260 00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,571 Like your parents? 261 00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:14,071 Yeah, and everybody else who sees the Navy Yard 262 00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:16,171 as this billion-dollar waterfront property 263 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,288 and not a neighborhood. 264 00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:19,238 But I think that... 265 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:23,679 privilege ignores the realities of systemic issues. 266 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,279 I'm surprised to hear you speak about your family this way. 267 00:11:26,284 --> 00:11:28,238 Yeah, well, it's nothing I haven't told them. 268 00:11:28,243 --> 00:11:30,813 And they... they support me. 269 00:11:30,818 --> 00:11:33,451 They want me to remind them, keep them honest. 270 00:11:34,576 --> 00:11:36,821 - Hey, Z? - Hmm? 271 00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,404 Feel like joining the conversation? 272 00:11:38,409 --> 00:11:40,871 I'm... I'm sorry. I... I know I'm being rude. 273 00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:43,029 It's just, I'm trending. 274 00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:46,518 Or at least, the hashtag "Zugly" is. 275 00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:48,613 It's Luna La. 276 00:11:48,618 --> 00:11:50,418 - She started it. - How do you know? 277 00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:54,779 "Hey Ju-lions! Let's get the hashtag 'Zugly' trending". 278 00:11:54,784 --> 00:11:57,312 It's all so toxic. I tried to tell Julien 279 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,447 that social media was ruining her life... 280 00:11:59,451 --> 00:12:01,579 How about we put away our phones... 281 00:12:01,584 --> 00:12:05,571 and discuss how much I'm enjoying 282 00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:06,909 getting to know Obie here? 283 00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,863 Are you, um, are you enjoying it enough 284 00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,529 to consider letting us go on a real date? 285 00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:14,613 - Not yet. - Okay. 286 00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:18,076 But, you know, getting closer. 287 00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:39,534 - Sorry. - What's wrong? 288 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,293 Just not into eye contact tonight. 289 00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:51,618 Yeah! 290 00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:54,284 Keep going! 291 00:12:55,618 --> 00:12:56,618 Keep going! 292 00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:03,709 - Whoa! - Oh, sorry. 293 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:07,446 No. Just wasn't expecting that... 294 00:13:07,451 --> 00:13:10,109 - I guess I overshot. - By a lot. 295 00:13:14,284 --> 00:13:15,284 I'm sorry. 296 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,151 It just caught me by surprise. 297 00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:23,109 Uh... Just need some time to, uh... recoup. 298 00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:24,776 Yeah, take your time. 299 00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:32,738 ♪ Smoking so much gas I forgot to put my mask on ♪ 300 00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:34,821 Woo! 301 00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:36,246 ♪ Called you off my iPhone ♪ 302 00:13:36,251 --> 00:13:38,863 ♪ Let me hold my hair for you while you put my... ♪ 303 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,238 Status update? 304 00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:52,529 Uh, you're in your underwear in the Daily Mail. 305 00:13:52,534 --> 00:13:55,613 I'm in my underwear on the Daily Mail. 306 00:13:57,493 --> 00:13:59,779 We'll WhatsApp that to Timothée. 307 00:13:59,784 --> 00:14:01,284 Actually, don't. You'll get arrested. 308 00:14:02,451 --> 00:14:03,821 Want some? 309 00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:07,196 Uh... No, thank you, I'm intermittent fasting. 310 00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:10,863 But offer some to that girl there? Hey. 311 00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:13,571 All right, so you're allowed no more than two 312 00:14:13,576 --> 00:14:15,363 but no less than one. 313 00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:17,551 I love solving inequalities! 314 00:14:20,743 --> 00:14:22,443 Oh! 315 00:14:24,368 --> 00:14:26,993 Oh, okay. 316 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,654 - What was that? - Space coke. 317 00:14:30,659 --> 00:14:33,563 - Is that like coke from NASA? - It's coke with ketamine. 318 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,071 Oh! 319 00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:39,563 - Yeah! - Woo! 320 00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:41,568 I'll help with dessert in a moment! 321 00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,593 What is it? Is it an Amber Alert? 322 00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:05,076 Someone's calling you. 323 00:15:08,743 --> 00:15:10,904 - Hello? - Do not call list. 324 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,859 - It... It's Zoya. - I don't know her. 325 00:15:14,243 --> 00:15:15,901 I know you made the Zugly hashtag. 326 00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:17,446 Yes, and? 327 00:15:17,451 --> 00:15:19,654 And I'm asking you to stop it? 328 00:15:19,659 --> 00:15:22,466 Mm! An ingenious portmanteau like that 329 00:15:22,471 --> 00:15:24,571 only derives from a place of truth. 330 00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:27,738 You can't dress like the Paramus Uniqlo's back-to-school sale 331 00:15:27,743 --> 00:15:30,063 and not expect some feedback. 332 00:15:33,118 --> 00:15:34,904 - My name's... - No. 333 00:15:34,909 --> 00:15:37,238 So, what are you saying? 334 00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:40,013 I could, um, try to Pygmalion you. 335 00:15:40,018 --> 00:15:41,488 Pygmalion me? 336 00:15:41,493 --> 00:15:43,654 Queer Eye, Princess Diary, Pretty Woman you. 337 00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:45,196 Yeah, I know the reference. 338 00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:47,863 I'm just surprised you do. Isn't it anti-feminist? 339 00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:49,738 I don't mean a feminized transformation 340 00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,571 in order to please a cis man. 341 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,546 I'm talking elevating your taste level 342 00:15:53,551 --> 00:15:55,988 so that no one calls you Zugly again. 343 00:15:55,993 --> 00:15:58,738 Look, I don't want to become some inauthentic version of myself. 344 00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:01,029 When I'm done with you, you won't know the difference. 345 00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:03,504 As long as you're on Obie's arm, you're in the spotlight. 346 00:16:03,509 --> 00:16:07,279 It can be a blinding glare or a benevolent glow. 347 00:16:07,284 --> 00:16:09,618 - So what's it gonna be? - Well... 348 00:16:11,859 --> 00:16:15,279 If Julien falls, we aren't going down with her. 349 00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:17,326 Might as well get in with the new world order. 350 00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:27,026 - Well, that was... - Informative? 351 00:16:28,243 --> 00:16:30,784 Sometimes it's important to experiment to see what you like. 352 00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:32,701 Or don't. 353 00:16:36,118 --> 00:16:37,118 I love you. Good night. 354 00:16:38,368 --> 00:16:39,534 I love you too. 355 00:16:47,993 --> 00:16:49,404 This just in. 356 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:52,446 Looks like one of Constance's most constant couples 357 00:16:52,451 --> 00:16:54,546 isn't as coupled as we thought. 358 00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:58,821 We hear one half strayed, but not too far from the nest, 359 00:16:58,826 --> 00:17:02,138 in fact, with someone close to both parties. 360 00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:03,779 You okay, babe? 361 00:17:03,784 --> 00:17:06,568 Yeah, just, uh... reading Sight and Sound. You? 362 00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:08,488 Town and Country. 363 00:17:08,493 --> 00:17:10,804 That's the fun thing about blind items. 364 00:17:10,809 --> 00:17:14,279 We often don't see what's right in front of our eyes. 365 00:17:17,409 --> 00:17:20,304 - I love your cat suit. - Thank you! 366 00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:22,554 It's my cast aside cat suit! 367 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,513 Oh, babe, whoever broke up with you 368 00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:26,843 doesn't deserve you in the first place. 369 00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:34,113 My boyfriend dumped me for my sister... well, half-sister... 370 00:17:34,118 --> 00:17:36,496 who I basically imported from, like, Siberia. 371 00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:40,446 So I am on the warpath to get over him tonight. 372 00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:43,134 - You are a warrior! - I am. 373 00:17:44,201 --> 00:17:48,613 - I am a warrior! - Maybe I should be, too. 374 00:17:48,618 --> 00:17:51,188 I have been dating my boyfriend for a year, 375 00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:54,196 and he still won't go public with me. 376 00:17:54,201 --> 00:17:57,913 We go off-peak to off-grid places like this. 377 00:17:57,918 --> 00:18:01,446 Or I sleep over two nights a week at his pied-à-terre. 378 00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:03,279 Sounds like he's hiding something. 379 00:18:03,284 --> 00:18:04,779 Bring him to the red table! 380 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,488 I should. 381 00:18:06,493 --> 00:18:11,113 Like, is it his problem or mine for caring so much? 382 00:18:11,118 --> 00:18:14,963 The moral of the story? You can't rely on any man. 383 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,029 You can only rely on yourself, right? 384 00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,584 That's so fucking true. 385 00:18:27,368 --> 00:18:29,613 - Are we swiping? - Uh, GPSing. 386 00:18:29,618 --> 00:18:31,238 It is one on Wednesday. 387 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,521 We need to see where the migaytion is flocking on. 388 00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:35,273 I'll check the LES. 389 00:18:35,277 --> 00:18:40,788 Oh... Tap him, he's cute. And he likes pigs! 390 00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:44,584 - Oh, that's not what that means. - What? 391 00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:49,618 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 392 00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:52,801 My dad. 393 00:18:53,618 --> 00:18:55,501 No, my dad. 394 00:18:57,243 --> 00:19:00,404 And sometimes, when we least expect it, 395 00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:03,779 our eyes are opened for us. 396 00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:06,668 My advice? Don't look away. 397 00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:24,145 Something happened. 398 00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:26,064 They're calling teachers in for private interviews. 399 00:19:26,068 --> 00:19:28,154 What? Why? We did everything right. 400 00:19:28,159 --> 00:19:29,704 I told you, they're Black Cube! 401 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,663 - They know things! - It's a crusade. 402 00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:34,113 They won't stop till there's a head on a spike. 403 00:19:34,118 --> 00:19:36,221 I once saw on an episode of The Americans 404 00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:38,884 that if you squeeze your anus, you can dupe a lie detector. 405 00:19:40,076 --> 00:19:42,279 All Burton wants is for this to go away. 406 00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:43,713 She won't stop until it does. 407 00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:46,046 Which is why we need to end it for her. 408 00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,251 We need a fall guy. 409 00:19:50,409 --> 00:19:52,613 How about a fall gay? 410 00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,988 He refused to join us and knows our secrets. 411 00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,571 - Two birds, one stone? - We can't do that. Can we? 412 00:19:57,576 --> 00:19:59,146 He's too big of a fish to fry. 413 00:19:59,151 --> 00:20:01,446 Then who? We need to scapegoat someone 414 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:04,113 before we're strapped to the chair ourselves. 415 00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:06,004 - Shit. Shit. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 416 00:20:06,009 --> 00:20:07,838 You, uh, rough night? 417 00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:11,693 - Um... One could say that. - You okay? 418 00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:16,413 I'm actually glad I ran into you. 419 00:20:16,418 --> 00:20:17,696 The craziest thing happened 420 00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:20,404 and I just need to talk about it with someone I can trust. 421 00:20:20,409 --> 00:20:21,751 Last night... 422 00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:28,904 - You know what, forget it. - No, um, it's, um... 423 00:20:28,909 --> 00:20:31,446 I'm sorry, all right? It's just, I probably shouldn't... 424 00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:34,011 Yeah, of course. You shouldn't. But you did anyway, so. 425 00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:47,647 Hey, did you come in the side way? I've been waiting for you! 426 00:20:47,651 --> 00:20:49,704 Someone sent Deuxmoi my old Dubsmashes, 427 00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,654 and now everyone is just la... 428 00:20:51,659 --> 00:20:53,162 You can't use your phone at school! 429 00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,821 Hey. All right. Okay, okay. All right. Look, look, look, 430 00:20:55,826 --> 00:20:57,513 I know what's gonna cheer you up. 431 00:20:57,518 --> 00:20:59,563 Your dad gave us permission for our first real date! 432 00:20:59,568 --> 00:21:01,218 Yeah. And I got us tickets 433 00:21:01,223 --> 00:21:03,054 to Jeremy O. Harris's new play. Opening night. 434 00:21:03,059 --> 00:21:05,055 When I told him what it was, he caved because he knows 435 00:21:05,059 --> 00:21:06,755 how important theater is to you and everything. 436 00:21:06,759 --> 00:21:09,654 And you can tell me what it all means afterwards. 437 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:11,519 'Cause you know, off-Broadway is like... 438 00:21:12,826 --> 00:21:14,251 all confusing and... 439 00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,338 - I thought you loved the theater? - No, I do. I do. 440 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:20,293 And I couldn't be more excited. Excuse me. 441 00:21:23,284 --> 00:21:26,938 - You told Gossip Girl about us? - Shizukani, Akeno. 442 00:21:26,943 --> 00:21:30,988 I have not had enough espresso or Vyvanse for this encounter. 443 00:21:30,993 --> 00:21:33,196 - So you admit you did it? - What, spill the bathwater? 444 00:21:33,201 --> 00:21:34,363 No, of course not. 445 00:21:34,368 --> 00:21:36,571 Do you know how many people cheat in this school? 446 00:21:36,576 --> 00:21:38,821 This place has more side pieces than Versailles. 447 00:21:38,826 --> 00:21:40,997 - She could have meant any couple. - That post was clearly me 448 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,288 - and Aud... - What about me? 449 00:21:42,293 --> 00:21:44,988 Um... That, uh, you look good enough to eat. 450 00:21:44,993 --> 00:21:46,404 Oh. 451 00:21:46,409 --> 00:21:48,279 Could you get me a contraband straw? 452 00:21:48,284 --> 00:21:49,876 This paper ones always break. 453 00:21:52,934 --> 00:21:55,496 What the hell, Wolfe! You told Gossip Girl about us? 454 00:21:55,501 --> 00:21:57,654 Oh, for fuck's sake, not this again. 455 00:21:57,659 --> 00:22:00,128 - Again? What do you mean again? - Why is everyone on my case? 456 00:22:00,133 --> 00:22:02,670 I have a lot of things on my mind right now 457 00:22:02,675 --> 00:22:05,263 and your lesbian bed death is certainly not one of them. 458 00:22:05,268 --> 00:22:08,046 You know what? If you're so worried about it getting out, 459 00:22:08,051 --> 00:22:10,091 maybe you shouldn't have done it in the first place! 460 00:22:13,368 --> 00:22:14,451 This one's made of wheat. 461 00:22:20,701 --> 00:22:22,821 Progress report on the sins of our fathers? 462 00:22:22,826 --> 00:22:24,796 I searched the entire house last night 463 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,004 and couldn't find a thing. 464 00:22:26,009 --> 00:22:29,238 No hidden passages from the service entrance to his room. 465 00:22:29,243 --> 00:22:31,004 No stray La Perlas in the closet. 466 00:22:31,009 --> 00:22:34,418 No sign of a girlfriend at all. So, he is hiding her. 467 00:22:34,909 --> 00:22:36,738 - But why? - Hm. 468 00:22:36,743 --> 00:22:39,904 I Insta-stalked her. Lola Morgan. 469 00:22:39,909 --> 00:22:42,738 - Singer-songwriter. - Hm, that tracks. 470 00:22:42,743 --> 00:22:45,143 I'm determined to gain clarity on this. 471 00:22:45,148 --> 00:22:46,718 What about you? 472 00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:50,671 I gently prodded Dad and he said they've never opened, 473 00:22:50,676 --> 00:22:53,139 so I don't know why Pops is on there "newly single". 474 00:22:53,143 --> 00:22:56,359 So of course, I had to take drastic measures. 475 00:22:57,618 --> 00:23:00,696 He probably has his reasons. Maybe just leave it alone? 476 00:23:00,701 --> 00:23:03,884 Mm... Maybe Davis has his and you should too? 477 00:23:08,701 --> 00:23:10,503 The Prince and the Popo? 478 00:23:10,508 --> 00:23:12,447 "The new girl on the arm of prince of New York 479 00:23:12,451 --> 00:23:15,404 Otto Bergmann IV is something called a Zoya Lott. 480 00:23:15,409 --> 00:23:18,321 And no, apparently, that's not her drag name. 481 00:23:18,326 --> 00:23:20,279 An import from a shtetl called Buffalo, 482 00:23:20,284 --> 00:23:22,363 Lott was overheard at not-spot Via Quadronno 483 00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:23,963 saying New York smelled like garbage". 484 00:23:23,968 --> 00:23:25,488 It was literally garbage day! 485 00:23:25,493 --> 00:23:29,018 It's New York. It's always garbage day. 486 00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,679 When are you going to get it? 487 00:23:30,684 --> 00:23:32,129 As far as the press is concerned, 488 00:23:32,134 --> 00:23:33,929 he's R-Patz and you're Suki nobody. 489 00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:36,113 This is the land of schadenfreude on Adderall. 490 00:23:36,118 --> 00:23:38,904 You need to curate your image as meticulously 491 00:23:38,909 --> 00:23:41,738 as a Gagauzian exhibit and follow only my rules. 492 00:23:41,743 --> 00:23:43,988 Otherwise, you'll end up being banned like a plastic bag 493 00:23:43,993 --> 00:23:45,738 on the corner of Lex and D'Agostino. 494 00:23:45,743 --> 00:23:47,679 Okay, I'm going to an opening with Obie tonight, 495 00:23:47,684 --> 00:23:49,571 so I need your help now more than ever. 496 00:23:49,576 --> 00:23:52,029 Then let's get started. 497 00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:54,529 First rule. Never speak in public, 498 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:55,788 which you've just learned. 499 00:23:55,793 --> 00:23:58,304 Second rule. Never look directly at a camera. 500 00:23:58,309 --> 00:24:00,988 Never look directly anywhere. 501 00:24:00,993 --> 00:24:03,988 - These are contacts. - I don't wear contacts. 502 00:24:03,993 --> 00:24:06,071 Exactly. They'll make everything blurry. 503 00:24:06,076 --> 00:24:08,654 This way, you'll always look like you're smizing. 504 00:24:08,659 --> 00:24:10,659 Because you literally can't see anything. 505 00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:14,279 Third rule. Never sweat. 506 00:24:14,284 --> 00:24:17,621 - Relax, it's just Botox. - I don't want Botox, I'm 14! 507 00:24:17,626 --> 00:24:18,821 It's preventative. 508 00:24:18,826 --> 00:24:20,614 And don't worry, it's not for your face, anyway. 509 00:24:20,618 --> 00:24:21,818 Then what is it for? 510 00:24:22,534 --> 00:24:26,279 Fine, a pad will do. Lift. 511 00:24:26,284 --> 00:24:28,505 - That'll make me sweat more. - And now no one will see it. 512 00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:31,029 - Fourth rule. Know your side. - I have a side? 513 00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:32,696 You do and it's not facing me right now. 514 00:24:32,701 --> 00:24:34,113 Are you taking notes? 515 00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,946 And finally, five tenets to live and die by in public. 516 00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:57,529 Never eat, cry, PDA, MTA or wear flats. 517 00:24:57,534 --> 00:24:59,189 - Where am I supposed to eat? - In private, 518 00:24:59,193 --> 00:25:00,647 with the blinds drawn. And whatever you do, 519 00:25:00,651 --> 00:25:02,946 never trust the doorman. They sell tips to TMZ. 520 00:25:02,951 --> 00:25:04,372 No way! Jimmy's been in the building 521 00:25:04,376 --> 00:25:06,001 since the '70s when my grandma first moved there. 522 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,378 Ew. You live with your grandma? 523 00:25:07,383 --> 00:25:10,046 No. I mean, she's in a home, but I stay in her apartment, 524 00:25:10,051 --> 00:25:11,942 which is probably something I shouldn't have told you 525 00:25:11,946 --> 00:25:13,682 because it's rent-controlled and the board doesn't know that I'm there, but... 526 00:25:13,686 --> 00:25:15,592 Do I look like I want a story? You're a client, not a colleague. 527 00:25:15,596 --> 00:25:17,029 Now show me what's in your bag. 528 00:25:17,034 --> 00:25:18,821 Hey! 529 00:25:18,826 --> 00:25:20,779 I shouldn't be seen with you right now. 530 00:25:20,784 --> 00:25:23,564 It's fine, Gossip Girl knows nothing, okay? 531 00:25:24,326 --> 00:25:25,904 But she could find out. 532 00:25:25,909 --> 00:25:27,779 If you want to guarantee, I'll never tell... 533 00:25:27,784 --> 00:25:29,779 More steam-room shenanigans? 534 00:25:29,784 --> 00:25:32,196 More of a catfishing expedition. 535 00:25:32,201 --> 00:25:35,671 I need you to create a fake Scruff profile 536 00:25:35,676 --> 00:25:37,076 and use it on my dad. 537 00:25:37,951 --> 00:25:39,446 Are you out of your fucking mind? 538 00:25:39,451 --> 00:25:42,071 Look, I need proof that he is using the app for more than perusal. 539 00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:45,088 - Why don't you just do it yourself? - You want me to sext my father? 540 00:25:45,093 --> 00:25:46,654 Is it any better you want me to? 541 00:25:46,659 --> 00:25:50,238 No, not as you. As Rafa. Okay? 542 00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:52,379 Clone his profile and get chatty. 543 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:53,938 No nudes, no private album, 544 00:25:53,943 --> 00:25:56,996 just the innocent intention of meeting up on record. 545 00:25:57,001 --> 00:25:59,696 This is ridiculous, even for you. 546 00:25:59,701 --> 00:26:01,779 Well, since the guy won't fuck me, 547 00:26:01,784 --> 00:26:03,551 I might as well fuck with him. 548 00:26:04,659 --> 00:26:07,613 Here. Come on, I'll even... I'll set it up myself. 549 00:26:22,118 --> 00:26:23,988 Spotted on the corner of Bedford: 550 00:26:23,993 --> 00:26:27,363 JC donning her best disguise. 551 00:26:32,034 --> 00:26:33,571 And is she the only one? 552 00:27:12,951 --> 00:27:15,104 Guess we better run to the box office 553 00:27:15,109 --> 00:27:17,696 to get our own ticket for tonight's show. 554 00:27:17,701 --> 00:27:20,904 Something is clearly about to go down. 555 00:27:30,868 --> 00:27:32,509 What in God's name are you wearing? 556 00:27:33,409 --> 00:27:36,654 Your father thought it advisable 557 00:27:36,659 --> 00:27:38,538 not to ruffle any feathers tonight. 558 00:27:38,543 --> 00:27:41,863 Although, to be honest, I would rather be wearing them. 559 00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:44,904 - Well, why aren't you, then? - He said I looked great. 560 00:27:44,909 --> 00:27:46,137 Dignified. 561 00:27:46,142 --> 00:27:47,929 Oh, that's because you look like him. 562 00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:49,821 - Maximus... - No, no, wait. 563 00:27:49,826 --> 00:27:52,904 I do not want to ruffle any feathers either, okay? 564 00:27:52,909 --> 00:27:54,988 But you raised me to be my most authentic self, 565 00:27:54,993 --> 00:27:57,029 - did you not? - Of course we did. And you are. 566 00:27:57,034 --> 00:27:58,646 And we wouldn't have it any other way. 567 00:27:58,651 --> 00:28:01,071 Then you need to start following your own advice. 568 00:28:01,076 --> 00:28:03,363 Be you. To hell with what anyone else says. 569 00:28:03,368 --> 00:28:06,613 - Even Pops. - Oh. I don't know... 570 00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:09,571 Did I not see the most spectacular Kamali number 571 00:28:09,576 --> 00:28:12,404 in your closet? That would just be perfect for tonight. 572 00:28:12,409 --> 00:28:14,321 - I know. I did have it tailored. - Yeah, yeah. 573 00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:16,904 Okay, well I'm excited to see it on you. 574 00:28:16,909 --> 00:28:19,209 Go. I'll change, too. 575 00:28:43,701 --> 00:28:45,196 Since when do you take a car? 576 00:28:45,201 --> 00:28:47,341 Remind me to learn how to Citi-bike in a dress? 577 00:28:48,284 --> 00:28:49,844 So this is what you look like at night? 578 00:28:50,326 --> 00:28:52,409 It, uh... It is now. 579 00:28:54,551 --> 00:28:57,009 It's beautiful. You're beautiful. 580 00:28:57,626 --> 00:28:58,834 Thank you. 581 00:29:00,618 --> 00:29:02,114 You know, I'm really glad you invited me 582 00:29:02,118 --> 00:29:04,279 as your plus one tonight. I feel like it's been forever 583 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,446 since we did something like this, just the two of us. 584 00:29:06,451 --> 00:29:08,321 Well, I'm really glad you're back from Berlin. 585 00:29:08,326 --> 00:29:10,946 But you must be exhausted. You should have coffee. 586 00:29:10,951 --> 00:29:14,488 I heard the play is very long and full of surprises. 587 00:29:14,493 --> 00:29:16,071 - You're gonna want to be awake. - Okay. 588 00:29:16,076 --> 00:29:17,196 - I'll be right back. - Sure. 589 00:29:19,409 --> 00:29:21,238 Hey, what did he say, exactly? 590 00:29:21,243 --> 00:29:22,683 Why don't you just read it yourself? 591 00:29:23,784 --> 00:29:25,420 He was hesitant at first but then he asked 592 00:29:25,424 --> 00:29:27,129 if we could come over to my place next weekend. 593 00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:29,654 That's when my dad's in London. Okay, um... 594 00:29:29,659 --> 00:29:31,572 Okay, maybe... maybe I do need to read it for myself? 595 00:29:31,576 --> 00:29:33,588 - What's your password? - 2046. 596 00:29:33,593 --> 00:29:35,259 Wong Kar-Wai's unsung masterpiece. 597 00:29:36,326 --> 00:29:37,701 Did you just steal my phone? 598 00:29:41,493 --> 00:29:43,279 Thank God you're sitting next to us. 599 00:29:43,284 --> 00:29:45,554 I cannot be near Max, or Aki might put it together. 600 00:29:45,559 --> 00:29:47,572 I really don't think Gossip Girl was referring to you. 601 00:29:47,576 --> 00:29:50,446 Optically speaking, I would like to err on the side of caution. 602 00:29:50,451 --> 00:29:52,404 Proximity plus the wine I'm gonna need 603 00:29:52,409 --> 00:29:54,576 to get through this play are not a good combo. 604 00:29:57,993 --> 00:29:59,193 What are you looking for? 605 00:30:08,951 --> 00:30:10,534 Hi. 606 00:30:13,484 --> 00:30:14,484 There's Max. 607 00:30:15,901 --> 00:30:20,021 Who knew you liked a grand romantic gesture so much? 608 00:30:20,026 --> 00:30:21,026 Lola. 609 00:30:22,076 --> 00:30:24,174 - What are you... - You look surprised. 610 00:30:24,179 --> 00:30:27,529 Yes, I do exist before the clock strikes 11:00. 611 00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:30,896 Those lily roses with the ticket tucked and twined? 612 00:30:30,901 --> 00:30:33,321 So thoughtful. 613 00:30:33,326 --> 00:30:37,196 And opening night, what a way to go public! 614 00:30:37,201 --> 00:30:40,071 At The Public! 615 00:30:40,076 --> 00:30:43,279 Well, I am so glad it worked out. 616 00:30:43,284 --> 00:30:44,605 Would you excuse me for one minute? 617 00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:45,830 I should hit the bathroom before... 618 00:30:45,834 --> 00:30:46,843 Okay. 619 00:30:47,368 --> 00:30:49,018 I'll be here. 620 00:30:53,201 --> 00:30:55,571 ♪ Lonely tonight ♪ 621 00:30:55,576 --> 00:30:57,196 Oh God, what did you do? 622 00:30:57,201 --> 00:30:58,838 I have no idea what you're talking about. 623 00:30:58,843 --> 00:31:01,046 Normally I wouldn't accept a gift from a student. 624 00:31:01,051 --> 00:31:02,904 But I'm a huge fan of Jeremy's work, 625 00:31:02,909 --> 00:31:05,279 - so thank your dad for me? - You can thank him yourself. 626 00:31:05,284 --> 00:31:07,284 I'll introduce you after the show. 627 00:31:08,326 --> 00:31:10,604 You know what? You deserve a better seat. 628 00:31:10,609 --> 00:31:12,234 Here, take my ticket instead. 629 00:31:16,243 --> 00:31:19,813 - Oh... I need your ticket. - The extra one you gave me? 630 00:31:19,818 --> 00:31:21,238 No, I need it. 631 00:31:21,243 --> 00:31:23,529 The sacrifices we make for the theater, darling. 632 00:31:23,534 --> 00:31:25,734 Next time, steal someone else's plan. 633 00:31:26,284 --> 00:31:28,029 But this is obstructed view! 634 00:31:28,034 --> 00:31:30,126 Well, guess you need to gain some clarity. 635 00:31:36,784 --> 00:31:39,988 Let the play around the play begin. 636 00:31:56,034 --> 00:31:57,864 Thought you were supposed to sit with your dads? 637 00:31:57,868 --> 00:31:59,493 You don't like me in the middle? 638 00:32:02,326 --> 00:32:05,779 - Sorry. - Dude, give me back my phone! 639 00:32:08,868 --> 00:32:13,363 Ooh, looks like someone's been doing extra credit homework. 640 00:32:13,368 --> 00:32:14,738 What are you guys doing? 641 00:32:14,743 --> 00:32:15,988 - Nothing. - Nothing. 642 00:32:15,993 --> 00:32:18,746 "AARON features full frontal nudity, 643 00:32:18,751 --> 00:32:21,921 potentially disturbing realistically depicted violence, 644 00:32:21,926 --> 00:32:24,554 simulated and non-simulated sex scenes, 645 00:32:24,559 --> 00:32:27,238 and audience participation". 646 00:32:27,243 --> 00:32:29,404 Try and put on a brave face, dear. 647 00:32:29,409 --> 00:32:31,869 It's a miracle the theater's even open. 648 00:32:34,659 --> 00:32:35,659 What do you know? 649 00:32:36,543 --> 00:32:38,071 Mr. Caparros, right? 650 00:32:38,076 --> 00:32:39,154 Who? 651 00:32:39,159 --> 00:32:41,738 - Max's Classics teacher! - Of course. Nice to see you. 652 00:32:41,743 --> 00:32:42,821 And please, Rafa. 653 00:32:42,826 --> 00:32:44,189 I don't think you two know each other. 654 00:32:44,193 --> 00:32:45,821 Uh, no, no. We certainly don't. 655 00:32:45,826 --> 00:32:48,128 - Nice to meet you. - This is my husband, Roy Sachs. 656 00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,438 Honey, I think you had a walkthrough in Wilton, 657 00:32:50,443 --> 00:32:52,563 the day of parent-teacher conferences. 658 00:32:52,568 --> 00:32:54,913 I was so thrilled to learn you're having them 659 00:32:54,918 --> 00:32:57,388 - read Catullus and Ovid this term. - Mm. 660 00:32:57,393 --> 00:33:03,779 All right, I've got Justin's, peanut MandMs and Tate's. 661 00:33:03,784 --> 00:33:06,446 They're the gluten-free ones, 'cause they were out of the regular. 662 00:33:06,451 --> 00:33:08,154 I'm good. Thank you. 663 00:33:08,159 --> 00:33:10,784 - I thought you loved MandMs. - I'm just not very hungry. 664 00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:17,529 You know, I saw Hamilton here with Max, 665 00:33:17,534 --> 00:33:18,743 before it went on Broadway. 666 00:33:19,863 --> 00:33:21,863 You into that play? 667 00:33:21,868 --> 00:33:23,988 No doubt it's a work of art. 668 00:33:25,326 --> 00:33:28,226 - Um, but... - But what? 669 00:33:30,743 --> 00:33:32,451 What? 670 00:33:33,743 --> 00:33:35,238 Of course. 671 00:33:35,243 --> 00:33:37,238 I thought you were coming here with your dad? 672 00:33:37,243 --> 00:33:39,801 I don't have to tell you who I am or am not here with. 673 00:33:41,684 --> 00:33:43,193 It's the least you can do. 674 00:33:49,993 --> 00:33:52,446 - Can you remove your hat? - Uh... No. 675 00:33:52,451 --> 00:33:54,572 Who's that that your... Who's that that your dad's with? 676 00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:56,626 Why? Do you want to date her, too? 677 00:34:05,576 --> 00:34:06,576 That's my... 678 00:34:08,784 --> 00:34:11,043 - She's my... - Your daughter? 679 00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:14,693 Who I now realize I met the other night. 680 00:34:16,909 --> 00:34:18,951 You didn't invite me here, did you? 681 00:34:20,584 --> 00:34:24,084 LX 1. LX 2, go. 682 00:34:24,693 --> 00:34:26,321 Aaron, go. 683 00:34:33,451 --> 00:34:35,904 _ 684 00:34:37,868 --> 00:34:38,993 What? 685 00:34:40,409 --> 00:34:42,238 - What? - _ 686 00:34:42,243 --> 00:34:44,659 Have I not arrived as you assumed I would? 687 00:34:45,484 --> 00:34:47,526 Like a black dog. 688 00:34:48,584 --> 00:34:50,084 As the saying is... 689 00:34:53,034 --> 00:34:55,409 You do know who I am, right? 690 00:34:56,951 --> 00:34:58,751 The inhuman dog. 691 00:34:59,993 --> 00:35:02,284 Unhallowed slave. 692 00:35:04,243 --> 00:35:07,201 Who said it first? 693 00:35:09,526 --> 00:35:10,526 You... 694 00:35:12,093 --> 00:35:13,418 Who said it first? 695 00:35:16,368 --> 00:35:20,084 My... father said it of my father! 696 00:35:24,951 --> 00:35:28,209 So, what'd you think? It was pretty intense, huh? 697 00:35:31,034 --> 00:35:33,321 And you're still shocked, I see. 698 00:35:33,326 --> 00:35:34,429 There's a four-block rule. 699 00:35:34,434 --> 00:35:36,380 You can't talk about the work until you're four blocks away. 700 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:39,529 I've never known you to wait half a block to say anything. 701 00:35:39,534 --> 00:35:41,068 Thank you. 702 00:35:41,968 --> 00:35:44,338 Now you're turning down lemongrass chicken? 703 00:35:44,343 --> 00:35:46,743 The play was, like, four hours long, I mean... 704 00:35:48,076 --> 00:35:50,484 Well, you must be... starving. 705 00:35:51,784 --> 00:35:53,909 I'll be right back. 706 00:35:55,184 --> 00:35:59,279 - Hey. Hey. We need to talk. - Do we? 707 00:35:59,284 --> 00:36:00,954 Because I'm pretty sure whatever you say, 708 00:36:00,959 --> 00:36:02,380 you'll be leaving a lot out as usual. 709 00:36:02,384 --> 00:36:04,446 - What you did tonight was... - Oh, I'm at fault? 710 00:36:04,451 --> 00:36:08,154 Do I have a secret apartment? A secret partner, a secret life? 711 00:36:08,159 --> 00:36:10,488 It was never my intention to hide anything from you. 712 00:36:10,493 --> 00:36:14,321 But you did. And you didn't just hide it, you lied. 713 00:36:14,326 --> 00:36:16,438 All of these trips you take, how many are real 714 00:36:16,443 --> 00:36:18,071 and how many are ten blocks away? 715 00:36:18,076 --> 00:36:20,529 - It's not that simp... - Okay, yeah. 716 00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:23,779 I guess we just have more in common than I realized. 717 00:36:23,784 --> 00:36:26,696 We both have a public life and a private one. 718 00:36:26,701 --> 00:36:28,446 I don't want to do that anymore. 719 00:36:28,451 --> 00:36:32,093 - Hey, Julien. I am sorry... - It's not your fault. 720 00:36:32,776 --> 00:36:33,871 But a tip? 721 00:36:33,876 --> 00:36:36,871 You should probably find someone who isn't afraid to be seen with you. 722 00:36:44,868 --> 00:36:47,463 Burton emailed me my interrogation time. 723 00:36:47,468 --> 00:36:50,196 During school hours, like... 724 00:36:50,201 --> 00:36:52,654 I guess it's more important to talk to a bunch of black hats 725 00:36:52,659 --> 00:36:54,379 about an anonymous Instagram account 726 00:36:54,384 --> 00:36:56,821 - than actually teach students? - It's not anonymous to you. 727 00:36:56,826 --> 00:37:00,113 George doesn't understand our little social experiment. 728 00:37:00,118 --> 00:37:01,879 He went to public school in Suburbia 729 00:37:01,884 --> 00:37:03,613 where everybody was nice to each other. 730 00:37:03,618 --> 00:37:05,279 This isn't something to joke about. 731 00:37:05,284 --> 00:37:07,046 That firm exposed billionaires, 732 00:37:07,051 --> 00:37:09,779 uncovered massive corporate security breaches. 733 00:37:09,784 --> 00:37:12,563 They worked for Weinstein. You think you can outsmart them? 734 00:37:12,568 --> 00:37:15,404 I did place a firewall on the school servers. 735 00:37:15,409 --> 00:37:17,213 These people invented firewalls. 736 00:37:17,218 --> 00:37:19,988 You should quit now before your entire careers are destroyed. 737 00:37:19,993 --> 00:37:22,613 I understand your concerns, George. 738 00:37:22,618 --> 00:37:26,613 But the school board doesn't actually care about Gossip Girl. 739 00:37:26,618 --> 00:37:28,113 They just hate the noise. 740 00:37:28,118 --> 00:37:30,488 We're in the midst of figuring out a way 741 00:37:30,493 --> 00:37:31,779 to quiet it all down. 742 00:37:31,784 --> 00:37:35,821 You're my wife. I can't help but worry. 743 00:37:35,826 --> 00:37:37,321 You know why I was fired? 744 00:37:37,326 --> 00:37:39,654 My boss, a father at your school, 745 00:37:39,659 --> 00:37:43,029 knew I knew he had expensed escorts. 746 00:37:43,034 --> 00:37:44,738 That's why we're doing this. 747 00:37:44,743 --> 00:37:47,609 To hold these people and their kids accountable. 748 00:37:48,576 --> 00:37:52,404 - You could expose him. - I've already lost my job. 749 00:37:52,409 --> 00:37:54,529 I don't want to lose my integrity on top of that. 750 00:37:55,159 --> 00:37:58,071 Besides, privilege and power, 751 00:37:58,076 --> 00:38:01,488 no matter how amoral, will always win in the end. 752 00:38:01,493 --> 00:38:04,779 And the people at the bottom will always end up with nothing. 753 00:38:04,784 --> 00:38:07,779 People like us. Sorry, where's your bathroom? 754 00:38:07,784 --> 00:38:09,676 Um... Just down the hall, to the left. 755 00:38:15,243 --> 00:38:17,279 We are a bit wrapped up in it. 756 00:38:17,284 --> 00:38:19,738 Well, of course we are. We created it. 757 00:38:19,743 --> 00:38:21,279 Maybe we should be considering 758 00:38:21,284 --> 00:38:23,529 if it's worth risking everything we care about? 759 00:38:23,534 --> 00:38:26,418 I like being a teacher. Don't you? 760 00:38:30,118 --> 00:38:32,988 I'll get us another bottle. 761 00:38:38,284 --> 00:38:40,109 Did we just get fucked? 762 00:38:41,118 --> 00:38:42,446 I loved it. 763 00:38:42,451 --> 00:38:45,696 But it'd be committing theatrical seppuku to transfer it. 764 00:38:45,701 --> 00:38:50,196 It would close in a week, especially without a star. 765 00:38:50,201 --> 00:38:52,779 I just wish it wasn't so confrontational. 766 00:38:52,784 --> 00:38:56,446 I mean, even Taylor Mac added farce to his Titus. 767 00:38:56,451 --> 00:38:57,738 And it still flopped. 768 00:38:57,743 --> 00:38:59,321 I guess it's Ivo's gender-swapped 769 00:38:59,326 --> 00:39:01,346 My Fair Lady with Gyllenhaal instead? 770 00:39:01,351 --> 00:39:02,529 Are you kidding me? 771 00:39:04,159 --> 00:39:06,030 Hey, where've you been? I've been looking for you. 772 00:39:06,034 --> 00:39:09,029 - Obie. Do you know... - A provocative play like AARON 773 00:39:09,034 --> 00:39:11,404 is exactly what Broadway needs after a year on pause. 774 00:39:11,409 --> 00:39:14,154 What it doesn't is another "revisal" of... of anything. 775 00:39:14,159 --> 00:39:16,338 Especially one devised by white people, 776 00:39:16,343 --> 00:39:18,771 about white people, starring white people. 777 00:39:18,776 --> 00:39:21,454 That's why the theater was invented, right? 778 00:39:21,459 --> 00:39:22,944 To challenge audience members to... 779 00:39:22,949 --> 00:39:24,824 to think beyond their own narratives. 780 00:39:24,829 --> 00:39:26,749 I mean, come on, have you never read Shange? 781 00:39:27,176 --> 00:39:28,834 Albee? Fornés? 782 00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:32,754 - Hey. Who are you? - Oh, hi, Jeremy. 783 00:39:32,759 --> 00:39:34,863 Oh. I'm no one. 784 00:39:34,868 --> 00:39:36,904 You seem very much like someone to me. 785 00:39:36,909 --> 00:39:39,169 Let's find a less confrontational space. 786 00:39:39,943 --> 00:39:41,143 And have a little talk. 787 00:39:43,743 --> 00:39:45,243 Hey, excuse us. 788 00:39:51,009 --> 00:39:52,713 Um... Hey. 789 00:39:52,718 --> 00:39:55,613 Sorry about messaging you at the theater... 790 00:39:55,618 --> 00:39:59,029 About that. I think you might have me confused with someone else. 791 00:39:59,034 --> 00:40:02,753 Hey, Pops! Don't leave me and Dad out of the conversation! 792 00:40:02,758 --> 00:40:04,363 Max, I was talking to my friend. 793 00:40:04,368 --> 00:40:07,613 Oh, you're gonna want to talk to these two more, trust me. 794 00:40:07,618 --> 00:40:09,279 Do you want to tell him or should I? 795 00:40:09,284 --> 00:40:10,484 Want to tell him what? 796 00:40:11,284 --> 00:40:12,484 Tell me what? 797 00:40:13,284 --> 00:40:14,984 - I'm confused... - Max. 798 00:40:18,451 --> 00:40:19,743 Pops is on Scruff. 799 00:40:21,159 --> 00:40:24,388 Yeah, he's got an active profile that says "newly single". 800 00:40:24,393 --> 00:40:27,946 And he's been messaging guys with the intention of cheating. 801 00:40:27,951 --> 00:40:29,711 This guy in particular. 802 00:40:29,716 --> 00:40:32,321 Hey, Max. Max, that's enough. Stop. Stop it. Give me that. 803 00:40:32,326 --> 00:40:33,938 - Stop that! - Wait, you did this? 804 00:40:33,943 --> 00:40:35,654 With Max's teacher? 805 00:40:35,659 --> 00:40:38,821 - Yes, I did, but... - Not with me, no. It... 806 00:40:38,826 --> 00:40:40,266 What do you mean, not with you? 807 00:40:41,284 --> 00:40:43,279 I think your son can explain. 808 00:40:43,284 --> 00:40:45,071 What does he have to do with this? 809 00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:47,404 He deserved to know the truth. 810 00:40:47,409 --> 00:40:49,738 - Did you pretend... - Well, not me, but... 811 00:40:49,743 --> 00:40:51,321 Is it true? 812 00:40:51,326 --> 00:40:53,488 - Is it true? - Nothing happened. 813 00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:55,321 All right, it was just talk, it was all talk. 814 00:40:55,326 --> 00:40:56,754 But you wanted something to happen. 815 00:40:56,759 --> 00:41:00,388 I just wanted to talk and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 816 00:41:00,393 --> 00:41:02,572 I don't understand why you would do something like this. 817 00:41:02,576 --> 00:41:03,863 Oh, God! 818 00:41:03,868 --> 00:41:05,388 Look, Gideon, I love you. 819 00:41:05,393 --> 00:41:08,301 But when I fell in love with you, you were different. 820 00:41:09,076 --> 00:41:11,009 You've changed. And I'm not sure I... 821 00:41:12,534 --> 00:41:13,963 I don't even know if I'm able to... 822 00:41:13,968 --> 00:41:16,263 Still be attracted to me. 823 00:41:16,268 --> 00:41:20,263 - With all this. - I still love you. 824 00:41:20,268 --> 00:41:22,618 - I do, but... - But you like it masc? 825 00:41:23,409 --> 00:41:24,613 Is that it? 826 00:41:24,618 --> 00:41:26,379 And instead of talking to me about it, 827 00:41:26,384 --> 00:41:28,254 you were gonna fuck some other guys 828 00:41:28,259 --> 00:41:30,446 - so you can feel it again? - No, no. Of course not. 829 00:41:30,451 --> 00:41:32,213 I still want you, only you. 830 00:41:32,218 --> 00:41:34,363 You want the version of me you're comfortable with. 831 00:41:34,368 --> 00:41:36,763 The one I felt I still had to be when we first met. 832 00:41:36,768 --> 00:41:38,784 But not who I am. 833 00:41:38,789 --> 00:41:40,289 I'm growing. 834 00:41:40,909 --> 00:41:42,779 But after almost 20 years together, 835 00:41:42,784 --> 00:41:44,871 I'm shocked you can't see that the only thing 836 00:41:44,876 --> 00:41:48,093 that has changed here is you. 837 00:41:54,826 --> 00:41:55,826 Why? 838 00:41:57,201 --> 00:42:02,071 - Why would you do that to me? - Why would you do this to us? 839 00:42:02,076 --> 00:42:04,113 ♪ Harden my heart ♪ 840 00:42:04,118 --> 00:42:07,904 ♪ I'm gonna swallow my tears ♪ 841 00:42:07,909 --> 00:42:12,571 ♪ I'm gonna harden my heart ♪ 842 00:42:12,576 --> 00:42:17,863 ♪ I'm gonna swallow my tears ♪ 843 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:20,946 ♪ Harden my heart harden my heart ♪ 844 00:42:23,326 --> 00:42:26,946 Obie. What are you doing out here? 845 00:42:26,951 --> 00:42:29,129 I was looking for you. I thought that you had left. 846 00:42:29,134 --> 00:42:30,968 Oh, Jeremy actually asked me to... 847 00:42:33,034 --> 00:42:36,571 - You're upset. - No. 848 00:42:36,576 --> 00:42:39,279 Is it because of what I said earlier, about the play? 849 00:42:39,284 --> 00:42:42,118 I mean, I was in the middle of speaking and you just kinda left. 850 00:42:42,868 --> 00:42:44,363 I was just confused. 851 00:42:44,368 --> 00:42:47,446 'Cause you've been so weird all night. 852 00:42:47,451 --> 00:42:49,821 And then suddenly you're yourself again 853 00:42:49,826 --> 00:42:52,618 and then you ditch me. So... 854 00:42:54,951 --> 00:42:59,904 Okay, when I showed up tonight and you liked how I looked, 855 00:42:59,909 --> 00:43:04,146 I thought maybe while you said you wanted something different, 856 00:43:04,151 --> 00:43:06,671 you're actually pretty comfortable with what you already know. 857 00:43:06,676 --> 00:43:08,384 The perfect picture by your side. 858 00:43:09,034 --> 00:43:10,988 But that's not me. 859 00:43:10,993 --> 00:43:15,321 I'm gonna say the wrong thing and sweat through my clothes 860 00:43:15,326 --> 00:43:17,313 and eat in the middle of the sidewalk. I... 861 00:43:17,318 --> 00:43:19,529 I want you to be who you are. 862 00:43:19,534 --> 00:43:22,821 All right, you understand why I ended it with Julien. 863 00:43:22,826 --> 00:43:25,584 Yeah. You couldn't find her anymore. 864 00:43:26,826 --> 00:43:29,726 But have you thought about how you might have contributed to that? 865 00:43:31,159 --> 00:43:33,904 That you didn't lose her but she got lost behind you? 866 00:43:33,909 --> 00:43:36,189 I mean, it's really hard to date the prince of New York 867 00:43:36,194 --> 00:43:38,402 when even he won't admit that that's who he is. 868 00:43:53,326 --> 00:43:56,493 - Do you mind if I, um... - Do the right thing? 869 00:43:57,176 --> 00:43:58,259 Never. 870 00:44:00,534 --> 00:44:01,696 Hey, Jules. 871 00:44:01,701 --> 00:44:03,529 - No, thank you. - I wanna talk. 872 00:44:03,534 --> 00:44:05,868 All right, just really talk. 873 00:44:12,276 --> 00:44:15,393 I know, um... 874 00:44:16,609 --> 00:44:18,943 I know that I said that I didn't like who you'd become. 875 00:44:19,876 --> 00:44:21,288 I, uh... 876 00:44:21,293 --> 00:44:24,488 I... I definitely should have... 877 00:44:24,493 --> 00:44:26,779 realized and accepted some responsibility 878 00:44:26,784 --> 00:44:27,868 for my part of that. 879 00:44:29,576 --> 00:44:33,476 Maybe, I was more comfortable not knowing, because... 880 00:44:34,534 --> 00:44:36,296 You know, if I had looked too closely, 881 00:44:36,301 --> 00:44:38,534 I might see some of myself, too. 882 00:44:39,868 --> 00:44:41,654 I spent so much time... 883 00:44:41,659 --> 00:44:44,640 ... putting forward this idea of me, that I just... 884 00:44:45,576 --> 00:44:47,226 forgot who I was a little. 885 00:44:48,909 --> 00:44:52,193 Like my dad has. Like everyone has, apparently. 886 00:44:52,743 --> 00:44:54,634 Except for her. 887 00:45:02,326 --> 00:45:03,646 It's no wonder you like her. 888 00:45:07,284 --> 00:45:11,321 I think... You know, I think that you deserve 889 00:45:11,326 --> 00:45:13,406 someone who sees you, who, um... 890 00:45:15,034 --> 00:45:16,159 sees all of you. 891 00:45:18,359 --> 00:45:20,521 And maybe I needed you to walk away 892 00:45:20,526 --> 00:45:22,443 to see that I could stand on my own. 893 00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:47,179 - Hello? - Reema? It's Wendy. 894 00:45:47,184 --> 00:45:49,196 I know I shouldn't tell you this, 895 00:45:49,201 --> 00:45:51,729 but a tip came into the Gossip Girl DMs 896 00:45:51,734 --> 00:45:54,446 a few weeks ago about your husband's former boss, 897 00:45:54,451 --> 00:45:57,071 and Kate didn't want to tell you. She thought you might get upset. 898 00:45:57,076 --> 00:45:58,646 Oh, my God, really? 899 00:45:58,651 --> 00:46:00,071 What was it? 900 00:46:00,076 --> 00:46:01,488 One of the escorts he hired 901 00:46:01,493 --> 00:46:04,288 was a senior at Constance. 902 00:46:04,293 --> 00:46:06,129 I mean, do with that what you will. 903 00:46:06,134 --> 00:46:07,629 But I just figured you'd want to know 904 00:46:07,634 --> 00:46:10,321 in case you felt compelled to expose the truth 905 00:46:10,326 --> 00:46:11,829 one final time. 906 00:46:11,834 --> 00:46:15,588 Might even get your husband's old boss fired, 907 00:46:15,593 --> 00:46:16,759 get his job back. 908 00:46:17,701 --> 00:46:20,718 That's a lot to hear. Uh... 909 00:46:21,659 --> 00:46:23,363 I can't believe Kate didn't tell me. 910 00:46:23,368 --> 00:46:24,588 Which is why I am. 911 00:46:25,493 --> 00:46:28,071 Listen, if you do want to do something with it, 912 00:46:28,076 --> 00:46:29,513 remember the firewall. 913 00:46:29,518 --> 00:46:32,913 You're protected only at school during school hours. 914 00:46:32,918 --> 00:46:34,951 We all have the password. 915 00:46:40,826 --> 00:46:46,909 ♪ I still dream of all the noise ♪ 916 00:46:48,118 --> 00:46:50,004 Should we last-call him before it's too late? 917 00:46:50,009 --> 00:46:54,268 - Oh, fuck. - Here. 918 00:46:56,168 --> 00:46:57,954 Maybe it's time to call it a night? 919 00:46:57,959 --> 00:46:59,529 And why would I do that? 920 00:46:59,534 --> 00:47:01,279 Because you're a bit out of control? 921 00:47:01,284 --> 00:47:03,521 That's what you like, isn't it? To relinquish control. 922 00:47:03,526 --> 00:47:04,947 Or is that only with me. I tell you what, 923 00:47:04,951 --> 00:47:06,946 let's ask some of your other candidates? 924 00:47:06,951 --> 00:47:09,529 - Max, don't... - We got... We got Judd. 925 00:47:09,534 --> 00:47:14,071 Uh, Phuc? Robert? Oh, he's cute. 926 00:47:14,076 --> 00:47:16,329 Is that... Is that your phone? 927 00:47:16,334 --> 00:47:17,739 Why is that on your phone? What is this? 928 00:47:17,743 --> 00:47:19,213 He's lying. It's his phone. 929 00:47:19,218 --> 00:47:20,697 He's just really fucked up right now... 930 00:47:20,701 --> 00:47:22,113 Correct. Check. 931 00:47:22,118 --> 00:47:24,979 I am... I'm outside my boundaries now, 932 00:47:24,984 --> 00:47:26,054 just like both of you. 933 00:47:26,059 --> 00:47:28,654 In fact, I am so outside that I don't know 934 00:47:28,659 --> 00:47:31,154 if you're gonna be able to hear me when I say 935 00:47:31,159 --> 00:47:33,438 I'm not the only one who fucked up here. 936 00:47:33,443 --> 00:47:34,613 You fucked up, too. 937 00:47:34,618 --> 00:47:37,563 You fucked me. And you wanted to. 938 00:47:37,568 --> 00:47:40,838 God, come on, it is time that we all stopped hiding 939 00:47:40,843 --> 00:47:43,471 and started being who we really are, right? 940 00:47:43,476 --> 00:47:46,254 Right? Okay, no more lies. Only truths. Okay. 941 00:47:46,259 --> 00:47:50,029 So I will go first as the only truth-teller here. 942 00:47:50,034 --> 00:47:53,813 You guys, you just, you don't do it for each other anymore. 943 00:47:53,818 --> 00:47:56,321 You just do me. But you can't have me. 944 00:47:56,326 --> 00:47:58,404 Nobody can have me. 945 00:47:58,409 --> 00:48:03,129 I am not even here. I am gone. And end fucking scene. 946 00:48:06,201 --> 00:48:08,576 ♪ The sun is coming out ♪ 947 00:48:19,826 --> 00:48:23,071 - Where's Lola? - I sent her home. 948 00:48:23,076 --> 00:48:25,821 - Oh, to your pied-affair? - Cute. 949 00:48:25,826 --> 00:48:28,284 And no. To her own apartment. 950 00:48:29,409 --> 00:48:32,279 You know, when you were a kid, 951 00:48:32,284 --> 00:48:35,301 I wanted you to feel like you were the only woman in my life. 952 00:48:35,868 --> 00:48:36,968 Because you are. 953 00:48:38,243 --> 00:48:39,396 So I made a choice 954 00:48:39,401 --> 00:48:42,629 that I would always keep my dating life private. 955 00:48:42,634 --> 00:48:46,654 And I think I forgot that you grew up 956 00:48:46,659 --> 00:48:48,068 and can handle the truth. 957 00:48:49,826 --> 00:48:51,359 I couldn't be more sorry. 958 00:48:52,993 --> 00:48:54,754 I never want to lie to you again. 959 00:48:54,759 --> 00:48:58,571 I think that we can both agree to do better. 960 00:48:58,576 --> 00:49:00,688 That we can live our lives more honestly, 961 00:49:00,693 --> 00:49:02,401 with ourselves and with each other. 962 00:49:08,826 --> 00:49:10,146 I'd really like to meet her. 963 00:49:19,993 --> 00:49:22,071 So does the Four Block Rule 964 00:49:22,076 --> 00:49:23,988 still apply on the Upper West Side? 965 00:49:23,993 --> 00:49:26,509 I guess that depends on the subject being discussed. 966 00:49:27,326 --> 00:49:30,006 - What if I whisper it? - No promises. 967 00:49:30,909 --> 00:49:34,909 I'd really like to kiss you right now. 968 00:50:03,618 --> 00:50:05,459 You put on a real show tonight. 969 00:50:08,659 --> 00:50:10,719 There's another one tomorrow, I'm sure. 970 00:50:12,993 --> 00:50:14,776 I don't appreciate being used. 971 00:50:15,743 --> 00:50:17,801 I had no idea it would blow up like that. 972 00:50:19,201 --> 00:50:21,321 What did you think would happen? 973 00:50:21,326 --> 00:50:23,446 You know, that my dads would realize 974 00:50:23,451 --> 00:50:25,321 that they were being stupid and just talk? 975 00:50:25,326 --> 00:50:26,613 But I fucked it up. 976 00:50:26,618 --> 00:50:28,368 No, it would have come out eventually. 977 00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,696 It always does. 978 00:50:30,701 --> 00:50:32,572 Yeah, I know. But I just didn't realize 979 00:50:32,576 --> 00:50:34,468 it would hurt this fucking much when it did. 980 00:50:49,351 --> 00:50:52,309 You know why the play's the thing? 981 00:50:54,159 --> 00:50:57,659 Because it holds up a mirror to our own lives. 982 00:51:07,034 --> 00:51:10,754 Sometimes it's about staying true to your private self. 983 00:51:16,493 --> 00:51:20,279 Or leaving your public self behind. 984 00:51:30,543 --> 00:51:34,201 Sometimes, it's about confronting a painful reality... 985 00:51:40,451 --> 00:51:44,038 ... or sublimating your deepest fantasies. 986 00:51:46,576 --> 00:51:47,618 Hi. 987 00:51:48,159 --> 00:51:49,401 Did you like it? 988 00:51:52,859 --> 00:51:54,109 I didn't... 989 00:51:55,534 --> 00:51:57,326 not like it. 990 00:51:59,468 --> 00:52:02,301 But I never want to do it again. Do you? 991 00:52:02,884 --> 00:52:03,884 Of course not. 992 00:52:06,534 --> 00:52:10,196 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, too. 993 00:52:15,909 --> 00:52:18,576 Isn't it all a performance, anyway? 994 00:52:20,534 --> 00:52:22,034 It's my own fault. 995 00:52:23,368 --> 00:52:25,113 When I got that tip about George's boss, 996 00:52:25,118 --> 00:52:27,488 I couldn't resist posting it. 997 00:52:27,493 --> 00:52:29,863 But at least now you know your firewall didn't work. 998 00:52:29,868 --> 00:52:31,488 It could've happened to any of us. 999 00:52:31,493 --> 00:52:33,696 We're so sorry it was you. 1000 00:52:33,701 --> 00:52:36,554 And don't worry, I didn't crack during the interrogation. 1001 00:52:36,559 --> 00:52:37,768 Your identities are safe. 1002 00:52:38,534 --> 00:52:40,034 I'll miss you both. 1003 00:52:47,451 --> 00:52:50,154 Did you turn the firewall back on? 1004 00:52:50,159 --> 00:52:54,246 - God. Why do I feel so terrible? - We didn't have a choice. 1005 00:52:54,251 --> 00:52:55,704 It was her or us. 1006 00:52:55,709 --> 00:52:57,863 And now, we don't have to be nervous anymore. 1007 00:52:57,868 --> 00:53:00,071 Wendy's contacts at Horace Mann and Dalton 1008 00:53:00,076 --> 00:53:02,238 confirmed they'd start sending in tips, too. 1009 00:53:02,243 --> 00:53:04,154 So did mine at Nightingale and Spence. 1010 00:53:04,159 --> 00:53:06,446 Which means Gossip Girl's gone citywide. 1011 00:53:06,451 --> 00:53:08,196 The target's off our back. 1012 00:53:08,201 --> 00:53:10,734 And impossible to trace. Bigger than ever. 1013 00:53:11,784 --> 00:53:14,526 She used the tip. We didn't make her. 1014 00:53:14,904 --> 00:53:15,904 Didn't we, though? 1015 00:53:21,934 --> 00:53:24,029 Yet no costume can conceal 1016 00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:26,071 what you don't want me to see. 1017 00:53:26,076 --> 00:53:28,788 Sooner or later, the clothes come off, 1018 00:53:28,793 --> 00:53:33,404 the makeup washes away and the real you emerges. 1019 00:53:33,409 --> 00:53:38,154 Your secrets, your sins, your truths, your lies. 1020 00:53:38,159 --> 00:53:41,029 - Hi. Where have you been? - It's story time! 1021 00:53:41,034 --> 00:53:43,314 Peak posting hour is about to strike. 1022 00:53:44,534 --> 00:53:46,151 I left my phone at home. 1023 00:53:48,243 --> 00:53:52,321 Um... Okay. No one panic. 1024 00:53:52,326 --> 00:53:53,613 I'll log in on my phone. 1025 00:53:53,618 --> 00:53:55,238 And we can download your presets. 1026 00:53:55,243 --> 00:53:58,126 - And we can figure it out... - I left it intentionally. 1027 00:53:58,743 --> 00:54:00,434 Consider me offline today. 1028 00:54:03,493 --> 00:54:06,871 Okay, you tried. But Zoya's clearly not playing along. 1029 00:54:06,876 --> 00:54:09,154 It's time that we reinstate order as it once was. 1030 00:54:09,159 --> 00:54:11,039 And that means JC on top, alone. 1031 00:54:12,118 --> 00:54:15,151 Oh! That Buffal-ho needs to go. 1032 00:54:17,226 --> 00:54:22,651 I have intel. If we used it, Little Z would be sistory. 1033 00:54:23,109 --> 00:54:24,109 Dites-moi. 1034 00:54:25,167 --> 00:54:26,946 If they don't start a war themselves, 1035 00:54:26,951 --> 00:54:28,471 we'll just have to start one for them. 1036 00:54:29,743 --> 00:54:32,241 All the world may be a stage, 1037 00:54:32,246 --> 00:54:36,488 but on the Upper East Side, the play doesn't matter. 1038 00:54:36,493 --> 00:54:38,693 It's all in the execution. 1039 00:54:39,276 --> 00:54:42,154 XOXO, Gossip Girl. 1040 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,500 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -